just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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