I smell stomach acid.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you will always have a special place in my vag
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
