as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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