He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
