The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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