3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
