The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
