the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
