I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
