I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
