i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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