That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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