im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
50% drunk capacity currently
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
