i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
