I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
