If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
