ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
