I am puke
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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