do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
