I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Randomize
