tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
