My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
