Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
