omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
