They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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