Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
