I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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