i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
