Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
