It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Its about making memories worth repressing
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
True strength comes from lack of pants
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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