Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
