Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
