This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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