Kiss
Puke
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
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