scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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