I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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