sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
