Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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