we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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