i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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