i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
