Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Did I show you my penis last night?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
