have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
