I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
