I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
