I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
so much tequila, so little girl.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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