Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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