This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
