Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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