She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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