They should really pass out barf bags in church
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
