i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Is Oprah even human
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
