Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
