my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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